stipulate
another sleepless zombie of a night-morning.
my sleeping pattern in the past week has drifted from los angeles time, tokyo time to london time. i would be a healthy person in these places, sleep at midnight, wake at 7am , etc. problem is, i have been in tokyo for over the past year now.
i am irritated with myself and the lack of execution and indecision. i wish i could come up with my own schtick that would help the world in some scale, and in return, allow me and those that i care for to prosper.
i am stuck with myself, i don't dislike myself, but i do question myself and intent. a lot of my lifer has been wandering about yes and no, and the grey zone in between.
i learnt japanese the "wrong" way
i was "not supposed to be" left handed
i was "not supposed" to forget japanese
i was "not supposed" to mumble calculations in english
and so on.......
i wonder, what would of have happened if these "not supposed to" things were allowed. would i of have been some genius? would my life of have been less fucked up? maybe so, maybe not. does it matter? it matters slightly to one single heart, mine. but otherwise, not.
i would like the "world" to know that i do care and that i better get a move on. i would like some peace in my life now, a little less solitude and a little more affection.
what the fuck am i on about..............fuck 9am..............................let me see, no meetings today.
tomorrow full day. today mix. let me see. wake up 15:00 mix till 23:00 sleep midnight, wake up 7am.......