やはり
相当痛いのだろう。落ち着かず、調子悪い。いつまで無理が利くのか。結局は己の問題であり、場所や事情は本質では無い。この辺りで心の平静をもたらすことが出来れば、一つ前進し、今後はより楽になるのであろう。平静がなかなか難しい。
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相当痛いのだろう。落ち着かず、調子悪い。いつまで無理が利くのか。結局は己の問題であり、場所や事情は本質では無い。この辺りで心の平静をもたらすことが出来れば、一つ前進し、今後はより楽になるのであろう。平静がなかなか難しい。
may pass, but the intent remains the same.
また何か無性に虚しい。一人の時はため息ばかりな気がする。
無性に哀しい
Better look up Gary when i'm in town next!!
I can't help it, I have a me rooted in Japan and a me rooted in England. You know what? The England me seems to be a happier guy. Granted, I don't spend enough time here to really see life.
But, is there anywhere in the world that anyone could call "perfect"? I have seen Tokyo, London and New York, in great detail. Tokyo for 30 years, London for 6, New York for 2.
I start to realise more and more that locale doesn't matter that much. It may matter for material issues at times, but other than that, not a lot. What matters to me more and more is the quality of life and how I get to spend my time, be it for myself or for others.
I like helping people, no matter who they are. If I sense something out of that person and admire/respect them, that is what gets me going. For example, I want to introduce James and Sankha together, I bet they could use Tokyo as a vehicle to create something good.
Imagine my life as a palm of a hand. there are three pieces of clay, from different continents, spead out on the palm. What I want to do is to roll those pieces of clay together into one, equal form. However, that is physically impossible.
The torment kills me at times. It's probably similar to the story of a gay guy who isn't allowed to express their reality. Freddie Mercury, Kenny Everett, whoever. It's practically impossible to explain.
So, what do I want in life?